If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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