It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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