You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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