i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
