drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
