eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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