I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
