you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
