Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
ttyl tear gas
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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