I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
