i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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