i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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