Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
