whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
