bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
