idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
