and you said cock pushups were impossible
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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