What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
