Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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