She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
