the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
