And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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