We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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