I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
