The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
