So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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