just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
