And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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