I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
