I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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