i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
