i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
