Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
