I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
