someone get that fucking seahorse.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
