I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
