I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
