There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Randomize
