if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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