I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
