This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
