PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
