I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We need a shit load of segways right now
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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