Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
