thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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