we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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