he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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