CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
