i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
