i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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