I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
