it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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