so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
