If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
